Satisfying tasks completed during my week off:
• Sharpened a pencil with a Stanley Knife
• Drank a cup of tea in the garden and threw the dregs onto the ground like a Viking lord honouring the dead
• Excavated several difficult tree stumps
• Communed with my ancient druid ancestors by sniffing a piece of freshly cut green wood
• Started digging a large pit
• Squatted down in my freshly dug pit to see what the world looks like at worm-eye level
• Remembered that worms are sightless
• Unearthed a penny from 1977 and managed to work into a conversation with Debbie about recent archaeological discoveries at the Mayan city of Tikal
• Achieved some moderately successful construction-based banter at the local builders’ merchants
• Expertly speared the garden trowel into the turf with the deadly precision of a ninja
• Held conversations with a large bee, a sleeping newt and about half a dozen assorted birds and neighbourhood cats (not all at once – although that would have been amazing)
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